I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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