Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
