Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize