Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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