Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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