I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
