Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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