I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
