Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
