i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
