If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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