Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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