I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
