I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
