I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize