Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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