Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
