there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
