Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
