i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
