Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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