i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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