I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
