I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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