Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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