Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
