I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
