My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
