he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The beer is more important than you right now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Bring me that man meat
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
