Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize