tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
