Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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