Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
