One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
