you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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