found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
