Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
