Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
