Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
