I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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