We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
