And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
