Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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