Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
