So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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