I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
