Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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