So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
