do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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