She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
