I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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