Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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