Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
