Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
