Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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