you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
