she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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