Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
