how can u be prego again
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
